My husband was into porn before we got married and of course I never found out about it until after when I asked him and he admitted it. So of course he told me he would never do it anymore and promised me again and again he would never cheat on me. Finally after 7 1/2 years of marriage he told me for the past 5 years he had cheated on me with about 20 different women. It makes me sick. It hurts just terrible and I hope someday I can get past the pain. He feels terrible and wishes he had never done anything. He has changed and yet its hard for me to accept cause he lied for so many years that its hard to know if he's telling the truth or not. Yes I am still with him cause we have 3 wonderful children and he is a wonderful dad. I just don't understand cause I never said no to him for sex cause I wanted it just as much as he did but he didn't want it with me and I just couldn't figure him out. Why is it so hard to get over the past? I have had a hard life even growing up and he just made it worse and now to accept that he is different and wants a happy marriage and says he loves me is just all to over whelming for me to take all at once. I don't think men realize how much they can hurt their wife even by just lusting after someone else let alone cheating on them. We as women are very sensitive and need to be treated kindly with love. If only they could see the future of how much it will hurt us I don't think they would ever do it cause it just wouldn't be worth it.