Keep asking yourself why you stay and you will figure it out. You probably stay out of fear, fear of failure, fear of what other people will say, fear of what lies on the other side, fear of being alone. You have a certain comfort zone that you would rather stay in than leave. Believe me, leaving would be the best thing you could do for yourself, to regain your self-worth and self-esteem. It is not as scary or lonely on the other side as you might think. I was married to a very emotionally and financially abusive man for 37 years. Trying to please him was such a drain on me and my self-worth. I finally reached my breaking point and we have been divorced for 7 years. I now only see him at our grandchildren's birthdays. He repulses me, I have no idea what I ever saw in that man.

Of course, because of my fear of being alone I met someone on match.com and we seem to hit it off immediately and we grew up about an hour from each other in the same state. I met him in September, and the next March we bought a house together (with my money) and it has been downhill ever since. I still try to please too much. We have been separated more than we have been together. He still looks on Match.com,. and he looks at men seeking men. He even wrote to a man once that I know of and he had conversations with some toothless whore in a motel room, trying to earn enough money for her motel room uses her toothless services. This man has never contributed one red cent to any of the household bills. I purchased construction equipment because he convinced me he could make 'us' a lot of money. Never has. If he does make a dollar or two he keeps it.

Of course, we both has children and his kids hate my guts, they are so jealous. He has called my kids the same hurtful names he calls me, so my kids don't care ot be around him, but they still come to see me. His kids won't come near our house.

The other day his son wanted to use the excavator and I put my foot down. If my son can't use, neither can his. His son has had it most of the past 2 summers. My son has never had it. So he called my the dirty 'c'.

Do you think I have had enough, of course. I am staying only to protect my investments at the moment. Of course, with the economy the way it is, it is kind of hard to sell the house, but I am hopeful.

Sorry, I have vented and rambled on long enough, all I really want to say us don't stay out of fear.

Stay strong and I wish you the best. I know it is not easy.

Kathy