Julia,
First of all, I'd like to say that you're not "creating" anything as far as he is personally concerned. He is what he is. Second, though, and this is to answer your question, I definitely feel you are creating a future that you are not going to be happy in.
I say this from my own personal experience. I am just recently divorced after 21 years of marriage and six beautiful children. The divorce was not my choice at all and has been devastating for myself and my children. I'll try to make this brief: When I met my (ex)husband he was already making the phone calls to the sex lines that speak to women and had many sex tapes to watch. Since I really wanted to connect with him I passed this off as nothing more than him relieving himself since he was single. When I came into the picture the phone calls stopped, so I assumed I was enough to take their place. This couldn't be further from the truth. I suppose I was enough at first, but he was a VERY private person, so I really didn't realize just how obsessed he was and would become with his sex addiction. Very slowly, and because I wanted to be his EVERYTHING, we began watching porn together. Although it was exciting to me, I didn't really like this form of sex for us and always felt "left out" emotionally. Eventually I became so fed up with it, I threw all porn in our house away. I would walk in on him doing nothing more than looking at a catalog for a local store, but he was looking at the models in the pictures in simple positions that you and I would see nothing in. He was able to see something, though, that aroused him. It was never ending. After 17 years of marriage, thinking (erroniously) that we could share something together and he would appreciate me all the more, I suggested after knowing how much he would enjoy it, that we go to a strip club. I had to drink quite a bit of alcohol to allow myself to do this in the first place, but going and watching wasn't enough. Soon he had talked me into doing things that I am ashamed of to this day. He also talked me into allowing him personal contact with these girls. The devastation that caused ended up with me in a suicidal depression. It was just never enough. Granted, he appreciated me more, even said he "had never loved me as much as he did then" but it wasn't really me that he loved. He loved that I was allowing this type of conduct. He ended up divorcing me, and I will certainly admit that I was drinking way too much at that point, being so unhappy and unsatisfied in our relationship. His reason for divorcing me was partially the drinking, I'm sure, but he also said that he "just wasn't attracted to me anymore and that he wanted to know that he was still attractive to other women." He was 48 years old at the time. There's no doubt in my mind that he's attractive to other women. I told him that if I could still be so attracted to him after so many years of marriage, I'm sure it was easy to be attractive to other women, but the depth of the attraction would only be superficial. Little did I know that would be enough for him at this time.
I am happier in one aspect in that I don't feel like I'm constantly competing with other women in an unhappy marriage. On the other hand, I'm unhappy because I truly do love this man and am no longer with him. I'm sure you've read other women relating how in their sexual relationship they were asked to "talk dirty" during sex. This was also the case in our relationship. It got to the point that it was the only way my ex could climax, and only through oral sex. We weren't making love, we were having sex. Completely unsatisfying sex unless all you want is the sex part of it. The intimacy was gone.
I highly recommend you NOT to compromise your position or yourself in any way. It may put a band-aid on the situation and you may feel that you're connecting with him, but what you're connecting with is his personal desire to satisfy himself. My ex was an excellent lover, so the actual sex was satisfying to me in every way, but the deep emotional part of our marriage that I longed for just wasn't there when it came to our sex life. I wish you the best and can only hope that your guy is different from what mine was. Take care of yourself.
By the way, as far as the children were concerned, he gave me FULL custody of them, without so much as asking for visitation. I encourage both him and the children to see each other as often as possible, but he only calls once every two weeks or so to see them for about two hours at a time before dropping them back off. I'm sure his "schedule" is just too busy to find appropriate time for them, and they are old enough to realize it and resent it. It's absolutely heartbreaking.