How do I start..I am one of those women that found their husbands watching porno after hours and not able to make them stop hurting the marriage and their selfesteem, we have been married for 25 years not sure how long we will stay married anymore..he had an affair twice and lied about it..I found out on my own..he still travels a lot and I know I can't trust that he will not do it again..I think about having an affair often myself to hurt him just the same way he hurt me..I know is not the answer to our problem do..we have 2 kids 24 and 19 years old..I am not sure if I still love him or if I just can not leave him..he tells me that he is sorry for what he is done but I feel he sitll not honest with me about his life when I am not around..I guess I am trying to tell myself that everything is going to be ok if I just try to understand him..I just do not know where to turn or what to do my family will never understand my position and would want me to leave him..I guess I need some help..